Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship...
Female body language, or the body language of women, is not all that different from that of men. However, female body language does have a few noticeable differences that both sexes can make note of. Here is a video of my segment with AM Northwest on female body language, as well as detailed tips below!
Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship...
Side Note: As much as possible we tried to use academic research or expert opinion for this master body language guide. Occasionally, when we could not find research we include anecdotes that are helpful. As more research comes out on nonverbal behavior we will be sure to add it!
Clarification of terminology: For the purposes of this article, the terms 'body language' and 'non-verbal communications' are broadly interchangeable. This guide also takes the view that it is the study of how people communicate face-to-face aside from the spoken words themselves, and in this respect, the treatment of the subject here is broader than typical guides, which are limited merely to body positions and gestures.
Philosophers and scientists have connected human physical behaviour with meaning, mood and personality for thousands of years, but only in living memory has the study of body language become as sophisticated and detailed as it is today.
The first known experts to consider aspects of body language were probably the ancient Greeks, notably Hippocrates and Aristotle, through their interest in human personality and behaviour, and the Romans, notably Cicero, relating gestures to feelings and communications. Much of this early interest was in refining ideas about oration - speech-making - given its significance to leadership and government.
Charles Darwin in the late 1800s could be regarded as the earliest expert to have made a serious scientific observation about body language, but there seems little substantial development of ideas for at least the next 150 years.
Darwin's work pioneered much ethological thinking. Ethology began as the science of animal behaviour. It became properly established during the early 1900s and increasingly extends to human behaviour and social organization. Where ethology considers animal evolution and communications, it relates strongly to human body language. Ethologists have progressively applied their findings to human behaviour, including body language, reflecting the evolutionary origins of much human non-verbal communication - and society's growing acceptance of evolutionary rather than creationist theory.
Austrian zoologist and 1973 Nobel Prizewinner Konrad Lorenz (1903-89) was a founding figure in ethology. Desmond Morris, the author of The Naked Ape, discussed below, is an ethologist, as is the evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins (b. 1941) a leading modern thinker in the field. Ethology, like psychology, is an over-arching science that continues to clarify the understanding of body language.
In his popular 1971 book 'Body Language', Julius Fast (1919-2008) wrote: "...kinesics [body language and its study] is still so new as a science that its authorities can be counted on the fingers of one hand..."
Significantly the references in Julius Fast's book (Birdwhistell, Goffman, Hall, Mehrabian, Scheflen, etc - see body language references and books below) indicate the freshness of the subject in 1971. All except one of Julius Fast's cited works are from the 1950s and 1960s.
The exception among Fast's contemporary influences was Charles Darwin, and specifically his book The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, written in 1872, which is commonly regarded as the beginnings of the body language science, albeit not recognised as such then.
A different view of human behaviour related to and overlapping body language, surfaced strongly in Desmond Morris's 1967 book The Naked Ape, and in follow-up books such as Intimate Behaviour, 1971. Morris, a British zoologist and ethologist, linked human behaviour - much of it concerned with communications - to human 'animalistic' evolution. His work remains a popular and controversial perspective for understanding people's behaviours, and while his theories did not focus strongly on body language, Morris's popularity in the late 1960s and 1970s contributed significantly to the increasing interest among people beyond the scientific community - for a better understanding of how and why we feel and act and communicate.
The introduction of a new technical word - (in this case, kinesics) - generally comes after the establishment of the subject it describes, which supports the assertion that the modern concept of body language - encompassing facial expressions and personal space - did not exist until the 1950s.
The evolutionary perspectives of body language are fascinating, in terms of its purpose and how it is exploited, which in turn feeds back into the purpose of body language at conscious and unconscious levels.
While the importance of body language in communications and management has become a popular interest and science in the last few decades, human beings have relied on kinesics instinctively in many ways for many thousands of years.
Humans have also learned to read the body language of animals (and vice-versa), although humans almost certainly had greater skills in this area a long time ago. Shepherds, horse-riders and animal trainers throughout time and still today have good capabilities in reading animal body language, which for many extends to the human variety. Monty Robert, the real-life 'Horse Whisperer' is a good example.
Gender differences: Interestingly, women tend to have better perception and interpretation of body language than men. This is perhaps a feature of evolutionary survival since females needed these skills to reduce their physical vulnerability to males and the consequential threat to life, limb, and offspring. Females might not be so physically vulnerable in modern times, but their kinesic capabilities generally continue typically to be stronger than the male of the species. Thus, women tend to be able to employ body language (for sending and interpreting signals) more effectively than men.
Body language is instinctively interpreted by us all to a limited degree, but the subject is potentially immensely complex. Perhaps infinitely so, given that the human body is said to be capable of producing 700,000 different movements (Hartland and Tosh, 2001 - see references).
As with other behavioural sciences, the study of body language benefited from the development of brain-imaging technology in the last part of the 20th century. This dramatically accelerated the research and understanding into connections between the brain, feelings, thoughts and body movement. We should expect to see this effect continuing and providing a more solid evidence base for body language theory, much of which remains empirical, i.e., based on experience and observation, rather than a scientific test.
Certain body language is the same in all people, for example, smiling and frowning (and see the six universally recognizable facial expressions above), but some body language is specific to a culture or ethnic group.
Many body language signals are relative. A gesture by one person in a certain situation can carry far more, or very little meaning, compared to the same gesture used by a different person in a different situation.
This can be so, however the proper interpretation of body language should look beyond the person and the signal - and consider the situation, especially if you are using body language within personal development or management. Ask yourself:
Note. This is a general guide. This should not be used alone for making serious decisions about people. Body language is one of several indicators of mood, meaning and motive. This is a guide, not an absolutely reliable indicator, and this applies especially until you've developed good capabilities of reading signs.
Even 'obvious' signs can be missed - especially if displayed as subtle movements in a group of people and if your mind is on other things - so I make no apology for including 'obvious' body language in this guide.
The mouth is associated with very many body language signals, which is not surprising given its functions - obviously speech, but also those connected with infant feeding, which connects psychologically through later life with feelings of security, love and sex.
The head is very significant in body language. The head tends to lead and determine general body direction but it is also vital and vulnerable being where our brain is, so the head is used a lot in directional (likes and dislikes) body language as well as in defensive (self-protection) body language.
Arms act as defensive barriers when across the body, and conversely indicate feelings of openness and security when in open positions, particularly when combined with open palms. Arms are quite reliable indicators of mood and feeling, especially when interpreted with other body language signals.
Body language experts generally agree that hands send more signals than any part of the body except for the face. Studying hands, therefore, yields a lot of information - hence the section below is large.
Legs and feet body language are more difficult to control consciously or fake than some body language of arms, hands and face. Legs and feet can, therefore, provide good clues to feelings and moods, if you know the signs.
When body language and speech characteristics are mirrored or synchronized between people this tends to assist the process of creating and keeping rapport (a mutual feeling of empathy, understanding, trust).
The term synchronized is arguably a more accurate technical term because mirroring implies visual signals only when the principles of matching body language extend to audible signals also - notably speech pace, pitch or tone and so on. Mirroring in this conscious sense is not simply copying or mimicking. Mirroring is effective when movements and gestures are reflected in a similar way so that the effect remains unconscious and subtle. Obvious copying would be regarded as strange or insulting. 041b061a72